You get to Friday.

And you expect things to be different.

Friday is supposed to be the cherry on top of the week. It’s the harbinger of the weekend, days meant to be sweet and full of promise. Of course, this is presupposing your life is built around the framework of the workweek and that you operate on the very standard 9 to 5 schedule.

If that is the case, Friday holds that special significance for you. Personally, my life has never truly been like that and when life has been structured that way for me, I have found it more often that not difficult to conform.

I started this draft back in March of 2007. At that time I was recovering more than anything else. It’s a hard thing to describe to anyone who hasn’t gone through it but caring and supervising care for an elderly parent is akin to going through a war and when it’s over you just want to rest.

I’ve been really lucky over the last couple of years to have the stability and regularity of a staff gig. Mind you, I can’t say I’m ever overjoyed by work but the flip side is not having to hustle as much looking for another gig and also having benefits which I need ever more with each passing day.

In 2007, I was still covering myself insurance wise... I had left my last staff gig a decade before and been able to cover myself for a long time and the truth of it was the premiums while not cheap were affordable but over the course of the two Bush Administrations that cost tripled and skyrocketed to the point where tough choices had to be made and insurance fell by the wayside (which wasn’t the best thing really).

I would go for the next several years without coverage and that was a nightmare I don’t care to repeat so the trade off is the 9 to 5 grind.

Friday now instead of being just any other day becomes something different... there have been plenty of Fridays where I would get late into the day have nothing planned for Friday night or for the weekend and the depression would be crushing. I would feel acutely alone.

Once I was on my own I’d be better but the transition period from leaving being around people to solitude was very difficult indeed.

Working from home changes all that to a certain extent only because the commute isn’t factored in now so when Friday comes and the week ends I’m home. I might be bummed about not having anything to do and then again I might simply be totally exhausted by the week and finding myself traversing the few feet to the couch and immediately starting to feel sleep tug at me.

The pandemic in a way was good because it took any thought about being out or going out away entirely and because of that you couldn’t really be all that upset over something you couldn’t do anyway. Now that things are going back it puts the dynamic into a new light.

Thing is... there is ever so much to do a good weekend can mean just getting motivated to get things crossed of the list and when that happens I really don’t find myself feeling that bad in the slightest.

The good thing about today is that I can contemplate what I will do between now and the time I do have to go back to work which is a ways off.